Chit-Chat Check-In #78 Transcript

Hello, this is your Captain speaking. OK, here it is, but unpopular demand ... my version of "I Will Always Love You" by Dolly Parton.

There is some erroneous reporting I woke up to after surgery last week. I saw headlines on the internet that said I hate Dolly Parton. When I wrote my book, and picked a song to talk about that I don't like, the whole point was that it's OK to not like something. There's not much point in trying to convince a billion people that they're wrong about a song.

Yet somehow, doing an interview on Colbert and things being taken out of context, it made it look like that was exactly what I was doing ... trying to tell everybody that a song they like is bad. And absurdly, trying to convey the idea that I think Dolly Parton is bad, or that she should have stopped writing songs. In other words, a lot of people can't take a joke, and apparently, reading comprehension is not what it used to be. 

But it made me want to learn the song and sing it. Because the whole bit isn't that I really hate the song, it's that a certain part of the song annoys me. And again, when I was writing my book, I was looking for someone monolithic, huge ... a star, so that anything negative I had to say about any of their songs would be taken as a joke, in the spirit it was intended.

So, without further ado, here's my attempt to try and make this song fit into my mouth.

Carry on.