Hello, this is your Captain speaking. OK, here it is, but unpopular demand ... my version of "I Will Always Love You" by Dolly Parton.
There is some erroneous reporting I woke up to after surgery last week. I saw headlines on the internet that said I hate Dolly Parton. When I wrote my book, and picked a song to talk about that I don't like, the whole point was that it's OK to not like something. There's not much point in trying to convince a billion people that they're wrong about a song.
Yet somehow, doing an interview on Colbert and things being taken out of context, it made it look like that was exactly what I was doing ... trying to tell everybody that a song they like is bad. And absurdly, trying to convey the idea that I think Dolly Parton is bad, or that she should have stopped writing songs. In other words, a lot of people can't take a joke, and apparently, reading comprehension is not what it used to be.
But it made me want to learn the song and sing it. Because the whole bit isn't that I really hate the song, it's that a certain part of the song annoys me. And again, when I was writing my book, I was looking for someone monolithic, huge ... a star, so that anything negative I had to say about any of their songs would be taken as a joke, in the spirit it was intended.
So, without further ado, here's my attempt to try and make this song fit into my mouth.
Carry on.